The Lebanese Epidemic

A girl got pregnant today without getting married. She didn’t have any premarital affair and still there was a baby growing inside of her. The physicians were perplexed. They have done every test possible and still all tests returned the same result. It was impossible that the egg was fertilized by a sperm.
The story was taken by the media like a storm. People from all over the globe started to flock to her residence to visit her and maybe get blessed… For you see, she must have been touched by a divine force! In a matter of days, the “blessed” girl was a holy woman and her home, a worship site.
However, this did not last long. In no time, reports of other women encountering the same fate started to surface. This was starting to become a national epidemic. Quickly, an international research group was formed to investigate the bizarre phenomena.
After numerous hours of study, the committee was ready to submit their conclusion. People from all around the world were gathered around their TV sets awaiting the findings of The Lebanon analysis. Finally, the foreman announced their review. He read, “From numerous labs, diagnostics and interviews we were able to confer that the cases we studied were indeed pregnant without sperm fertilization. Inside the virgin uteruses, there were already amniotic fluid and a placenta. Yes, this is not normal physiology. Each and every one of them is rearing so protectively their own insecurities and paranoia.
Charles de Gaulle said, “Patriotism is when love of your own people comes first; nationalism, when hate for people other than your own comes first.” This fight for “national unity” is fueled by the distrust and hate of the sects other than that of one’s own tribal sect leader. The new fetuses were fertilized through the push to manically defend the subjects own communities’ survival. They are already post-term and screaming for a C-section. The committee warns that this phenomenon may affect the whole Lebanese population given that the rate of expansion is unprecedentedly high. We urge the leaders who we hold responsible for the epidemic to look into their conscience and stop fueling the impressionable minds of the citizens or there would be a state of emergency in this country. End of announcement”.